Thursday, January 19, 2012

Rule 5

5) You must always do whatever is in your power to stop a bro from soiling himself with a poor looking girl. Unless the bro is able to stand up, look you in the eye, and articulate that he is to a decent extent sober. Then you are absolved of any responsibility.

Sometimes, you see a bro trying to get with a girl at a party or something, and you know shes just bad news. Either because you bro has beer goggles and wouldn't touch this chick if he was sober, or that shes obviously reeling him in to be her new emotional tampon. The designated cock-blocker and all bros present should do whatever is in their power to stop such an event.

But if your bro wont be deterred and has expressed he is sober by the above criteria, then whatever happens isn't your problem anymore. Because my bros, a bro should always look out for his bro. And if a bro should so insist on a rash action, then step back and let him have his way. A good bro should continue keeping a watchful eye on the situation, just in case you do catch a really good reason to break it up.

The good bro in question, is of course, the wing man. Ah there it is again. The wing man, coming into the blog post like a haunting nightmare or a knight in shining armor. As may be observed by the common reader (or maybe the un-common reader, I don't know what kind of freaky stuff your in to) a massive amount of bro code responsibility falls on the shoulders of the wing man. This because, bros seem to love to party it up, and guzzle large quantities of alcohol, and when these things happen, mistakes will be made.

Sometimes it is acceptable to allow a bro to "slum it" with a less than desirable woman, this can be done for a numerical quantity no longer specifiable by SOPA that directly correlates to days spent in a dry spell. Sometimes, (and I know this sounds bad but all you bros are thinking it) a bro just needs to get laid. Other times a bro needs to slum it to possibly renew his self-confidence or his drive to achieve a hotter class of chick.

The beauty of rule 5 is in its simplicity and its broad relation to a number of possibilities. With rule 5 in place, a bro is protected to an extent stopped only by his own severe stupidity. If it should come to your attention that your bro is intending to have unprotected sex with a random girl (random-ness indicated by how much everyone knows the girl in question) then it is the duty of every bro present to supply your bro with protection.

If no protection is found to be given, then the intended sex can not be allowed to happen. For this reason a good bro always keeps two condoms in his wallet, one for his bro, and one for himself. Or dam if conditions are good then you got two condoms to use!

As always my bros, take the wisdom of the bro code and go forth, spread the power that is and prosper. (also it should be mentioned that all bros believe Clint Eastwood, William Shatner, and Bob Marley to be extreme badasses of Legendary proportions)