The Universal Bro Code

Had a "modern independent woman" make it clear she wanted to start a sexual relationship with me ("I want to take you home and fuck you for days" were her exact words). She was surprised when I declined and angrily demanded to know why she was being rejected ("You must be fucking gay" were her exact words). To the contrary, I explained in that calm, soothing voice that totally pisses off an angry woman, "Besides not wanting to risk contracting a disease from you there's also the very real possibility you might get pregnant and, frankly, I don't want to be legally and financially bound to you for the next 18 years."

She went BALLISTIC. If you've never seen a woman completely lose it, its like a cross between the puking scene in The Exorcist and the alien baby tearing its way out of the belly in Alien. Total loss of all emotional control, even her ability to speak. She was drooling this foamy spit out of her mouth and her face was crimson red. Just pure rage trying to hit me and throw anything she could pick up at me. It was magnificent in its self-ownage. My friends still laugh about it to this day.