A satire comedy writing that conveniently points out the truths of my generation.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Sunday, February 12, 2012
The Daily Messenger: How you see yourself
The Daily Messenger: How you see yourself: I used to know this guy a long time ago who used to tell anyone he would meet, "I went to the same High School as Elvis Presley!" It was s...
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Rule 16
16) A bro will never make another bro look bad in front of a target girl. The wing man should swiftly punish any such attempts. Afterwards the bro who infringed upon this rule may be confronted by the whole circle of bros.
The bro code is an epic set of guidelines by which bros may exist by. Its like a set of rules that a tribe lives by. In fact, you and your bros are a tribe. A bro-tribe! Therefore when a bro is has thought highly enough of a chick to bring her to be showcased and evaluated by his bros, every bro present shall do his best.
The bro code at its simplest, is fairly looking out for your bro's well being and general health. Therefore a violation of rule 16 should be punished harshly because dude that just sucks and is not cool. A bro should always be looking for ways to help his bros score, not to ruin their chances of it whenever possible.
A violation of rule 16 should be forgiven a few times, but after that they must not be allowed to participate in situations where their behavior has proven to be destructive to the plan. Basically, a dude who cock blocks when he shouldn't repeatedly, should not be given any opportunities to cock block again.
Because the love among bros should outlast any event, especial if the foul was made when the bro was drunk, that all bros forgive and forget. There are bros who continually screw your game up for you and they aren't even drunk. These bros should still be loved, but just not allowed to be around for such events.
Basically, if you know for a certainty your bro is gonna cock block, don't let him be there. This however should not be necessary. A good wing man will handle all of these events on the fly, and make sure that his bro has nothing but green lights.
When good game is combined with a solid wing man, the bro has no worries. So consider having pregame talks with your bros, and especially make sure your wing man knows what needs to be done. There is only so much a bro can do in the end, and when a bro is rejected he shall always endeavor to blame himself before blaming his bros, preferably he would blame the chick first and foremost.
Consolidate all rejections of your bros with lots of beer, bros love beer. When a bro gets out of a relationship whether he was dumped or not, give him lots of hugs and beer and spend some time with him. Bros have bros for a reason, so remember to always be there for your bros.
Friday, February 10, 2012
The Daily Messenger: When the devils pile up against and have a giggle ...
The Daily Messenger: When the devils pile up against and have a giggle ...: Remember who you are, boy... and why you are here... and that you are always loved. Always.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
The Daily Messenger: The Killing of a Cure
The Daily Messenger: The Killing of a Cure: The Killing of a Cure The Murder of Max Gerson In the mid 1950s, after spending his entire life researching and creating a modality...
Monday, February 6, 2012
Sunday, February 5, 2012
The SuperBowl
Many of you may or may not have just recently watched the Superbowl. Many of you who just recently watched it may or may not have partied particularly hard. I however, performed the latter. And now that I am home, safe, and drunk, lets talk about the Superbowl.
The game in and of itself may or may not have been very important to you. Personally for me and who I was with here in California, the game was pretty much meaningless, besides of course the bets we placed on the games outcome. We mostly played beerpong and did shots and spent time with our friends.
Above all else we spent time with out bros. Superbowl Sunday is one of the all time bro days, even if your girlfriend is with you or not. Even if your not into sports that much at all (like me) today was a huge day for sitting back and hanging out with the guys talking about whatever while the game is on.
Many of you bros may have had to work on this normal Sunday made important by corporate America. Hell I even ran into a few bros I knew working at the local round table when I went to get a bite to eat. But for those of you lucky enough to have had the freedom and drinks to party hard today, I hope you did it according to the brocode!
Today I observed many actual interactions of the brocode and absolutely no infractions of it. I took care of my bros and made sure they had tons of fun, while also making sure they didn't drink too much. Today was not a day for wingmen and nailing down some good looking girls for me and my bros. Today was a day of bro-like solidarity and having a multitude of good laughs together!
We here at the brocode blog hope that all of you had as much fun as we did today. Remember bros, the brocode is not just a set of rules. It is a higher way of life by which all things are made awesome!
The game in and of itself may or may not have been very important to you. Personally for me and who I was with here in California, the game was pretty much meaningless, besides of course the bets we placed on the games outcome. We mostly played beerpong and did shots and spent time with our friends.
Above all else we spent time with out bros. Superbowl Sunday is one of the all time bro days, even if your girlfriend is with you or not. Even if your not into sports that much at all (like me) today was a huge day for sitting back and hanging out with the guys talking about whatever while the game is on.
Many of you bros may have had to work on this normal Sunday made important by corporate America. Hell I even ran into a few bros I knew working at the local round table when I went to get a bite to eat. But for those of you lucky enough to have had the freedom and drinks to party hard today, I hope you did it according to the brocode!
Today I observed many actual interactions of the brocode and absolutely no infractions of it. I took care of my bros and made sure they had tons of fun, while also making sure they didn't drink too much. Today was not a day for wingmen and nailing down some good looking girls for me and my bros. Today was a day of bro-like solidarity and having a multitude of good laughs together!
We here at the brocode blog hope that all of you had as much fun as we did today. Remember bros, the brocode is not just a set of rules. It is a higher way of life by which all things are made awesome!
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Rule 15
15) If a bro is terrible at sports, excuses may be made, no matter how bad they are. Good bros will start to play worse so that their bro doesn’t look so bad.
The inner workings that comprise the backbone of this rule are based upon the well founded beliefs that not every bro has to be a sports douche. Being a bro is recognizing the bond of awesomeness between a dude and his dudes. It is not a label upon which to slap merchandise and douche slurs to.
It is highly common to even observe a guy a wearing a certain style of clothing and acting a certain way, and you make a mental note that this guy looks like a bro. All the No Fear clothing and Rock Star energy drinks does not make a guy a bro. It just shows that he has an identity crisis that he is dealing with.
Bros be forewarned of this type of behavior! Your fellow bros will always have your back even if you decide to change how you do things and what you wear. But seriously, don't be a douche. Just be yourself.
A bro does not have to be a sports fan, or be good at sports, or even be able to hold his liquor. A bro does just have to be awesome. Playing a sport is an awesome pass time with your friends and doesn't always have to be a competition. Therefore bros, have a heart and look out for your bros out on the field/court/surf.
And above all else, if the chicks are watching and a bro isn't particularly good at a sport, "its not my day" is the only acceptable excuse to be made. A bad ass dude doesn't even make that beta-male apology.
Keep the peace my bros!
Friday, February 3, 2012
Rule 14
14) A bro shall never make another bro ashamed for hooking up with a girl. Even if she was truly nasty, a bro will make excuses for his bro. Example, “you were drunk so…”
Sometimes dudes just slum it. And by sluming it we mean that they don't just bend their standards a bit, they really ignore them. We are talking about doing something with someone when under normal circumstances it would never happen. Monogamy and fidelity are all well and good virtues that are still valued by a fair number in our time and more so when long term relationships are concerned. But in the dating world when you are young, sleeping around is the thing.
Each generation is more messed up than the last from someone's viewpoint, always. Understand that you and your bros are young and living the life (under 35 and single). Cherish it and have fun, everyone knows to do this. So when your bro hooks up with a girl, thou shalt not give him shit for it lest shit be given upon you.
There are few reasons a bro might slum it, many of them previously discussed on this blog. One is beer goggles. It is a well known fact that things look way more awesome when you're drunk. That nasty, greasy pizza. The girl that never had a boyfriend throughout high school and is now being flirty with you at the party.
There are things that people don't normally do because of common sense and prior reasoning that they do a lot under the influence. AKA Stupid shit. The phrase "stupid shit" covers everything from streaking to sluming it.
So even if shes hot or not, don't ever give your bro crap for his dating choices. Sober or not you must always have your bros back. If you feel you need to bring one of your bros errors into the light then do so discreetly, and if you are a blundering ass then at least have the common sense to pull him aside and keep it private.
Remember bros, your message may be righteous but if your delivery of the message is terrible than your bro won't hear it. Speak the truth, but speak it in a language that gets heard. AKA being a cocky douche may get you chicks, but being awesome and understanding with your bros is what counts.
Keep the peace my bros, and party hard this weekend!
Juicing and Raw Foods: Plastic spay on GMO irradiated lettuce from chain ...
Juicing and Raw Foods: Plastic spay on GMO irradiated lettuce from chain ...: you know, Vons, Ralphs, Stater Bros, Walmart, Costco, etc. BUY ORGANIC PRODUCE OR GROW IT!
Thursday, February 2, 2012
The Daily Messenger: Power lines and people
The Daily Messenger: Power lines and people: 40 years ago, all the studies of the era agreed - and it was openly published - that living under or within 2 miles of High Tension Power Li...
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